Thanks to my friend and husband for reminding me about writing. I’m feeling ambivalent about writing today, but I’m writing anyway. I feel tired and kind of depressed, like the clouds have rolled over and it’s like do they ever stop rolling? Is it what I get for judging others…

that Medium stops showing me posts based on my reading history. Today’s post? How to wake up at 5am. Let me tell you how Medium. You have a baby that doesn’t sleep, that’s how. Take that. Don’t force the baby they said. Don’t force them to eat, it’ll just cause…

the most riskiest choice of all” — Helen Keller apparently, and I’m not even sure it’s Helen Keller but I don’t want to go check. I haven’t been writing, I’ve been depressed. And anxious. Since.. when was the last time I wrote a post? I guess I will check. Done checking. So that wasn’t helpful, because I’ve been struggling with my mental health for…. longer than that…. I want to be brave, but I also want to ……

And I tried to be as honest as I could about my fears with therapy. So I like what came out of it and I want to share my notes here. three core issues my beliefs About me my lovability, acceptability, do i matter to myself, do i matter to God…

I keep clicking on the posts that talk about how to make your life better. Every single one of them mentions rest. I am now anxious about how much rest I am not getting. Why do I do this to myself?

Minimize electronic devices they said. It’ll make you age faster they said. This all on an electronic device. As if I wasn’t depressed enough already. Get more sleep they said. Quality sleep. The kind that you don’t get if you have kids. Use sunscreen they said. But mostly don’t use…

I’m pumping and blogging in my office right now because I’m working with a life coach and she asked me how social media fasting was going. And — It’s going okay, because I at least realized I don’t even realize when I am trying to open my Instagram until I…

Okay. So I came to the blog to get away from what other people were telling me to do, and do what I wanted to do, dump out whatever is brewing inside me. But they have found me even here! More on that later. I wanted to say that I…

The trouble with sharing is that there is an audience. And the trouble with an audience for a people pleaser like me is that I start to curate what I say according to my audience, and the line between me and we becomes blurry. And I start to feel like…